Sorry For The Delay In Posting – AGAIN!

I freely admit that my immediate reaction to stress of a grand scale is to shut down.  I’m not trying to imply that I don’t function under stress – I do.  I go to work, I apply for jobs, I help coach when my knee allows it, you know, day-to-day living stuff.  It’s just things that need to be taken care of (laundry, stacks of mail that should be sorted through, dusting, etc) get put on the back burner so that I can do things that are 1) FUN and 2) DISTRACTING.

What’s been going on the last month that has sent me into an organized pile kinda lifestyle?  Let me catch you up…..

Remember when I mentioned my knee allowing me to help coach?  I played sports all through my life.  Even now, at the advanced age of 31, I love participating in basketball games with friends and students, passing softball/baseball with family members, and sharing my joy of sport with my younger cousins.  Well, a month ago  ( a little over a month actually), while hitting pop flys to the girls in the outfield my kneecap decided to remove itself from its normal location and stick itself to the left.  Yes, I suffered from a dislocated patella not by doing something awesome – climbing a mountain, running a marathon, saving a life – I was hitting pop ups.  L-A-M-E

Thankfully, once my kneecap was put where it should be and various Dr’s looked at the aftermath (tears on ligaments, swelling, tender spots, etc), I don’t require surgery any time soon.  In my future, I probably will need some type of surgery but as of now I don’t and I my hope is that in my future I have a job with insurance that will pay for said surgery.  Now that I’ve been given the almost clear, I’ve been off crutches for three full weeks, I’m back to helping D.J. coach the softball team.  They are great and it’s fun working with him.  He’s a great guy that doesn’t get the credit I think he deserves for working with these students – still, that is another topic for another day.

What else is going on to make my stress level so high that when I’m home and should be doing housekeeping?  I’m moving out in a month, I will be in-between jobs, my personal life is so confused that I’m not sure which would be easier: just keeping status quo and be miserably stagnant or call it a day and be miserably open.  Better people handle worse than this daily, but I’m just stuck.  I’m trying to fight out of it – I ask friends out, I bought new clothes for a new start on something (never fear, I will not get rid of my sweet tshirt options), heck, I even saw Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan!

Steve, Me, and Kevin

That’s my problem though – or maybe it’s the solution?  Could it be possible that one has to go through these lulls – where we have a spell where the funk in our minds, personal life, turns into visible funk in our house?  If so, my funk isn’t THAT bad, just getting to the point where I’m tired of it…kinda like I’m getting tired of it in my mind.

All that being said, some art has been accomplished during this funk and there has been a spark of an idea.  I’m going to take my robot drawings and make them bigger and more of them!  I have my first new one’s here:

Completed work - just debating whether to add color or not

 

Needs to be inked, but I like the composition.

Like above...sorry that it's not rotated (my bad)

 

 

I am also going to just put it out there for people too: my art, myself.  I want to grow up with out giving up what I feel makes me who I am.  Recently I’ve decided to buy more adult clothes to wear to school and out and I know I can balance that with my Star Wars tshirts underneath a button up.

Things are changing in my life and I haven’t always handled it well.  There will be a day when I’m happy where I am.  There will be a day when a guy both loves me and wants to be with me – and not one without the other.  And if that day doesn’t come, I will be content in knowing that I gave it a shot – my best shot – and left no chance not taken out of fear.

It’s just time to clean up…..I’ll start tomorrow.

Advertisements

3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cryptotox
    Apr 29, 2012 @ 21:20:11

    Staci! I love your satekite! What color scheme do you foresee?

    Reply

    • stacigilliam
      Apr 29, 2012 @ 22:05:35

      I’m not too sure Sara. I’m a little afraid of adding color to it actually because I like it too much. I was thinking blues – but I might test color out on the lightsaber bots.

      Reply

  2. cryptotox
    Apr 30, 2012 @ 07:37:15

    Yeah, if anything at all I was kind of thinking something minimalist in the cold reaches of space. It’s a great picture, keep ’em coming!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: