Stop Your Sobbing: Random Thoughts While Running

Well, let’s call it what it really is: jogging.  Running implies I move with great speed – I just move.  While I am moving, I find that the most interesting thoughts pop up.  Maybe that’s the appeal of jogging to so many – the time to think/focus on something else while active. At least that’s the appeal to me.

Now – on to the random thought(s).
I was listening to music as I jog, with my C25K app chiming in telling me when to run, when to walk, when the idea of things working out/happening/coming back to things when they need to stayed with me.  It’s not a new thought, and it may seem simplistic, and easily influenced by hindsight, but it has been my experience that things – no matter how hard or how fantastic – tend to happen in their own time, when they need to happen.  Maybe its a coping mechanism? I do not know.

Jogging around South Williamson, thinking about various events, people come and gone, a song by the Kinks came through my earbuds and I was surprised by how much I identify with the tune. “Stop Your Sobbing” doesn’t really describe my current behavior or anything like that, but the sentiment of the song – that while someone loves you, they can’t handle a constant barrage of sadness – hits closer to home than I would like to admit.

People (those that are important and vital to you) in your life don’t want you to be sad, they want to help, but at the end of the day it’s really you – and only you –  that can make yourself happy and “stop your sobbing.”. I used to know that….then I forgot….then I remembered again (just in time).

I used to believe in the “if only.” If only this, then that. I changed myself…well, tried to….all for this idea of if this, then that.  The “if only” is an appealing lie, easy to believe, but it changes people into something they aren’t.  This isn’t a statement against compromise, it’s a statement against being someone you aren’t for an ideal not a reality.  I did that and it wasn’t good for anyone.  Finally, a year on my own, rediscovering my own feet, and moving forward, I can say that my sobbing has stopped. 

I’ll make sure to keep that song, really all of the Kinks songs I have, on my iPod rotation though – just in case I need a reminder.

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