There Is A Reason To Avoid Message Boards

I was flipping around the interwebz the other day, looking for a new potential hairstyle, when I came across this pic of Felicia Day:


Now, if you don’t know who Felicia Day is, she’s a queen of the geeks.  A very talented actress, who has stared in shows with cult followings like The Guild (a web series that was on Netflix at some point) and – my personal favorite – Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog.

I was spending a few moments this morning before going to work looking for other pics to show my friend Melissa so she can recreate the cut for me when I saw some of the most hate filled, ignorant, comments.

Ranging from calling her a skank, to asking when she was coming out of the closet – and worse – with the reasoning being she 1) cut her hair short and 2) she’s not in a relationship as far as one knows, I couldn’t believe how cruel people could be.  I don’t know if it is just jealously, trolling, or ignorance at full strength but, whatever the case, it concerns me.

I see a lot of this stupidity teaching at what I like to call a rural, inner city school.  You kinda expect it with middle school students, they are still learning and growing, but they pick those attitudes up at home.  Still, despite all the dumb constantly shown in the news/TV/film/media in general, I expect better from the world at large.

Sadly, that expectation is not being met.  It’s 2013 and a woman is still being cruely judged if her haircut isn’t long flowing curls, or she isn’t married with children by 32.  I have short hair, but it’s because my hair is really fine and only looks remotely think when cut short (plus, I’m super cute with short hair!). I’m not married, but doesn’t mean I’m gay.  When did one’s haircut define one’s sexuality?  Why do these narrow ideas still exist?  Is there any hope out there?

I really don’t know. For me, my hope for a Roddenberry world where people get along despite race, gender, sexual orientation, species, etc, is dwindling.  People seem to enjoy causing aggrivation, starting arguments, and bringing – or trying to bring – people down and that is sad.  Sure, you don’t have to like everything people do, you don’t have to like people in general, but what kind of satisfaction is gained by either making, or – more often than not attempting to make – someone feel poorly for their life/decisions/love/self?

What those people don’t realize is that those who have come under their fire (and I’ve been there) don’t care what you think.  Yeah, your words may sting, but at the end of the day who gives a snot about what your obviously tiny mind thinks?!  If you are shallow enough to judge me for my haircut and not my personality, talent, knowledge, self, etc, I don’t want to know you anyways. 

Like I said, you don’t have to like me – you don’t have to like my haircut – but a haircut should not cause such spewing of…..dumb….that’s all I got…it’s dumb.

Seriously, how sad is it for the person that can only feel good putting someone down?

Just a string of thoughts….
Here’s to hoping that the string of hate I read this morning becomes a thing of the past.

Sincerely, a short haired, unmarried, heterosexual, female Star Wars/Doctor Who/Supernatural fan who totally can’t just be defined by those parameters.

Besides, I’m sure Felicia Day doesn’t need me defending her….she’s got to kiss Nathan Fillion, therefore she always win. Also, it doesn’t hurt that she’s extremely talented and seems like a nice person so, what do I care what hair style she likes…aside from it being super cute!



7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kyle H.
    Oct 07, 2013 @ 08:51:58

    It’s not quite comparable, but I got hell for having longer hair in high school. The longer hair was somehow an indicator of my femininity – and it was in large supply. Which then begs the question, why are feminine traits a negative thing? And why are those traits (long hair, for example) even considered exclusively feminine to begin with? I’m not really sure how to address such ignorant criticisms. I often just replied with snide comments that I knew would force them to reconsider their position, such as, “Jesus had long hair.” I’m not sure it worked, but it was kinda fun.


    • stacigilliam
      Oct 07, 2013 @ 09:09:49

      It is comparable though. So much is placed on this strange notion that physicality is a direct correspondence to who a person is. Sure, while my choice in appearance may be an expression of who I am – to a degree – it’s not THE definition of me. I just could not believe the amount of flak she is/was getting simply for a style choice that she obviously likes.


  2. alexandraann01
    Oct 07, 2013 @ 13:09:31

    Awesome stuff Staci! There is so much negativity in this world. It sometimes feels like we are falling deeper and deeper into it everyday. Here’s to being shining lights of positivity despite it all! 🙂


  3. Lyle
    Oct 07, 2013 @ 15:34:24

    Is the hate because of the short hair or because it’s different? I adore Felicia Day, but prefer her with her old hair style. Of course, I am a sensible person and recognize that this is a preference and I don’t go spewing hate. On the other hand, for as long as I’ve known you, I’ve seen you with short hair and I have a hard time picturing you any other way (of course it’s a lot harder to go from short-to-long as quickly as long-to-short without a weave). Odds are that the people spewing the hate have nothing to be happy about in their own lives and want to bring everyone else down. In the famous words of The Refreshments “Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people.”

    P.S. Guess who is going as Captain Hammer for Halloween this year. 😀


    • stacigilliam
      Oct 07, 2013 @ 16:05:47

      I really think that her cutting her hair is just the reason people are using to let their hate flow. I do prefer my hair to be short, and have had various types of short hair, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind – on a rare occasion – that my hair length may be viewed as a mark against me with potential suitors. Now, on that same turn, I wouldn’t want to be with someone that made a call about me because of my hair and I quickly remind myself of that and let the clippers fly! I just find it to be a disturbing trend that a lot of discussion turns into hate spewing blah.
      PS: I am so excited you will be Captain Hammer! I expect pictures 😀


  4. Melissa Hatfield
    Oct 07, 2013 @ 16:34:15

    It is sad that even in today’s society we still have such a stigma about how you look or what you wear. I say be your on unique self and rock whatever hairstyle that you love!!


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