Errant Easel Baby

Well, any day now, I’m going to be birthing a baby. I thought I would do many posts about this, but now that I think about it, one will do. Imagine it as a montage, with some awesome song like The Final Countdownplaying. Or maybe big girls don’t cry. What ever suits your fancy.
Where to begin. Got pregnant. Didn’t believe it, so I took a million tests…I’m pretty sure that’s how it begins for everyone. You go back and forth with yourself. “yay, I’m pregnant!” Then “holy shit. I’m pregnant!” Then, there’s the first doctor appointment, which is incredibly awkward as you have a ladies exam in front of your husband…they an internal ultra sound. Go google it. I’m not a mom yet, I have no classy way to explain that without embarrassing us all.
“…and there’s jr!” The doctor says. I’m in love instantly with the little peanut floating around on the screen.
So, I didn’t look pregnant yet, but by god if I didn’t feel pregnant! I didn’t have morning sickness, but I was incredibly exhausted! I love naps, but I took napping to a whole new level! On top of that, although I was working out like a fiend before I got pregnant, I did good to take a 30 minute walk around the nieghborhood! Yeah, yeah, everyone says “you can keep working out as much as you did before” I call bullshit! Def one of those, every woman takes it differently!

Once I hit my second trimester, I felt amazing! My doctor would say “enjoy the honey moon!” and truly, I felt good after that! There were some things I didn’t enjoy, such as insomnia, I could take a good nap, but I didn’t sleep through out the night what so ever! So, that made my 10 hour days at the bank oh so miserable! yes, 10 hours, never work at a bank that’s inside a store. Bankers hours are a mythical creature! So, my days off, I spent catching up on sleep. Another thing I hated, was the baby brain! It’s real people! I would forget dates, words, what I walked into the kitchen for, did I just try and put the milk in the cabinet? Why yes, yes I did.

All of a sudden, I had a belly. One of the best part of pregnancy, maternity clothes! My dress pants felt like sweat pants, and I could get away with wearing whatever I wanted, but TOM’s shoes, they are the best shoes ever for pregnancy! Ever. My feet didn’t swell much, but when they would, it would be a week of swelling, and they stretch to fit your feet! It’s amazing!
So, third trimester I started combatting with things like my hips hurting, I can’t bend over very well, and I feel dizzy once standing back up. I started to feel the baby kick around mid second trimester, but now, you can see her move from across the room! It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe, and it’s the coolest damn thing I have every experienced! With the extra big baby now in my body, I have no room for my organs. So, I’m back to that peeing every 5 seconds, and, for the first time in my life, I experienced heart burn. If you have heartburn regularly…I’m sorry. That’s miserable, miserable!

So, here I am, working onto my 40th week. Feeling weird, may possibly been having contractions for a couple days now (nothing consistant), and for the past few weeks, my brain has been working in over time! I didn’t feel like storming the house in a mad cleaning spree, but baby brain is gone! I am strategizing every part of my life, and there’s a list to go with it!

So, I’m sure I bitched a lot through out my pregnancy, I remember saying how awful it was, and how I didn’t understand how anyone can say they enjoyed every minute of it! I feel like I have no control over my body, I really want a Jimmy John’s sandwich, and a glass of wine, but I look in the mirror and see my swollen belly (swollen is polite…I’m huge!) and I smile. I was told that I seem happier now pregnant than I did before, and aside from growing a child in my gut, I’ll tell you why I am so happy: my husband. Here’s the sappy part, everyone get a kleenex, or a barf bag. Every morning my husband wakes me up by saying “hi beautiful” and he kisses me on the cheek before he leaves to work. He doesn’t let me pick up anything of the floor, runs up and down the stairs for me, doesn’t make me cook, does the dishes and the laundry so I can relax, bought me maternity clothes so I never had to be sad I had nothing to wear! And that’s not the best part, the best part is how he looks at me. He says I’m beautiful, and he truly means it! I know, barf! He’s an incredible husband, and even though my hormones are starting to go crazy, and I’m irritable, and getting snappy with him, he doesn’t get upset, he takes it in stride, knowing that all of this craziness is all a part of eventually having our baby.

So, there’s a review of my pregnancy. I haven’t experienced the birth part yet, so I can’t say I want to do it again, but I will say I can understand why woman like it. Especially if they have husbands like mine of course! And, I am experiencing something I thought I would never get to do. Yes, I officially feel like Mother Earth, and get ready to see lots of pictures of my baby, and be annoyed, I know it’s annoying, but 9 months, and a birth that will feel like it last for ever I’m sure, I think I’m allowed! starting…..NOW!



2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. cryptotox
    Jan 01, 2014 @ 16:45:41

    Dez, this review of pregnancy is so perfect to read. I hear you in every word. Thank you for sharing this, I teared up a couple of times and laughed even more.


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