I Used To Be Nervy…

But ice changed that.

My time as an employee of Bath County Schools was pretty amazing.  I worked with some wonderful educators, great kiddos, and made fantastic friends.  It is also a timed marred with sickness, accidents, and the downfall of my personal life…but, you know, stuff happens.

My first semester at BCMS, I ended up with strep throat, ear, and kidneys (yeah, no idea strep could be anywhere but your throat!).  Tack on a STAPH infection on my nose and the week after Thanksgiving 2010 was pretty lame. 
But that bout of illness didn’t make me less nervy.  It just confirmed that I was back working amongst children. 
No, it was March of 2011 where my bravery in face of the elements changed.

There was a small ice storm, and school was on regular schedule.  My upbringing and training has always been of you are expected at work, common sense be damned!  I knew that it was ignorant to be out on untreated roads (KY workers were on furlough and salt trucks did not run), but if you are expected at work on time, you get there on time. 

Long story shortened, the interstate was a mess due to all the wrecks, so I took the old, two lane road from Rowan to Bath county.  It was at the county line the accident occurred.  I can still see the large SUV coming around the curve too fast (mine and the state troopers opinion).  I see the vehicle swerving, trying to correct the slide.  I know they are going to hit me, and there is no where to go. 

They slam into my front, driver’s side door.  I get pushed off the road, grazing a tree (my passenger’s side mirror folds in from the impact), and land in a family’s yard. 

Glasses are knocked off, I’m slammed around, and the powder from the airbags causes me to panic.  I’ve never been in an accident this bad, but I’m very aware it could be much worse.  My friends – also going to work – find out it’s me that’s jammed them and stay to help me while I wait on my (now) ex-fiancé to pick me up. 

Everyone was so nice and took good care of me.  Still, no one could replace my nerve.  They probably didn’t know it needed repair – how could they?!  It wouldn’t have mattered if they did.  Only I could work on that.
I have worked on that, but I still don’t like icy roadways or being on them.  Heck, I don’t like ANYONE being on them.  I don’t like the idea of people traveling on them for my sake – or my perceived sake, for that matter.
I’d much rather everyone stay home and not be in the icy road.  That way, it is much more assured I’ll see them soon on a safer day to be out.

The next March, my kneecap dislocated but that injury didn’t take away my nerve like the car accident did.  The way I looked at the wreck, it was very much the other driver’s fault (the court agreed).  She was speeding in icy conditions and put others at risk due to her recklessness.  Still, I shouldn’t have been out in it – no one should have except those who had zero choice. 
I had the ability to call and say, “listen, it’s gross out, I’ll be in later,” but I didn’t.  It is so much a part of my work ethic that, unless I’m ill or something of greater importance has occurred, I’ll risk life and limb to be where I am supposed to be.  That is what you are supposed to do….right?

Due to that wreck, I’ve become less nervy about such things.  I won’t travel 3hrs to see friends I told I’d come to if the weather looks too dicey – I won’t drive 5mins for that matter.  I won’t wait until the morning, if the morning is going to be worse than 2am.
It’s just not worth the risk.

So, if I don’t venture put with you brave (silly) souls on this icy day, it’s not that I don’t want to see you.  It’s that I’m older, I’ve have my share of scares in bad weather, and I don’t want seeing me to be a reason you decide to be out. 
It’s not being cowardly – it’s about responsibility.  Some things are worth it…Apples to Apples is not.

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