Musings of a Teacher On Delay

I wrote that title without thinking much about it. Really it was simple, I am on a two-hour delay (thanks for the craziness that is this year’s weather), I felt like sharing some random thoughts, *boom* there is your title. Only after it was placed there on the title line did it occur to me that it could represent something more telling, especially given what has inspired my morning thought process.
As usual, I’ve been flipping around Facebook, seeing all the pictures of friends engaged, friends married, and children here or on their way. Around the Newsfeed, I saw an article shared regarding being the mother of boys. A little nugget, long lodged in my head, shook loose and it flashed by “I think I’d like to be a mother to a boy.” That led to me thinking about motherhood and whether or not that is something I would like to be: someone’s Mom.
The idea of motherhood is something I flit between more often than I would like to admit. I see my friends, happily married with children, and in my heart I know I want that – a family. Sometimes, it’s a little difficult being the odd man out, but that is just how it is right now and that’s ok. Really, it is O-K….promise…cross my heart.
At 33, I know that there is time for me to find the man I want to share my life with, who I will want to have children with, but I feel like I am behind. This feeling is so contradictory to what I know to be true, but, what can I say, it’s how my brain works (with regards to my brain, I feel we’ve established that it tends to run a pretty wide track only to slow down and come back to where it needs to be). That all being typed, I wouldn’t classify myself as baby crazy or anything like that. In fact, newborns tend to scare me a little with their lack of ability to hold their heads up, but that’s a whole other thing. I just know that somewhere down the road, if it works out that way, I would like to be a wife and a mother. I like to believe I would be good in both roles, but as one of my uncles put it, “it may not be in the cards.”

He meant well.

So, as the day ends and I look to more creative outlets for my wandering mind, I can see that my delay will end someday (hopefully) soon, and things will roll on when the road is cleared for travel. Until then, I will continue to get ready.

Delays only hold you up briefly. Soon, you’ll have to go out and get on with the day…or something like that.


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