Musings of a Teacher On Delay

I wrote that title without thinking much about it. Really it was simple, I am on a two-hour delay (thanks for the craziness that is this year’s weather), I felt like sharing some random thoughts, *boom* there is your title. Only after it was placed there on the title line did it occur to me that it could represent something more telling, especially given what has inspired my morning thought process.
As usual, I’ve been flipping around Facebook, seeing all the pictures of friends engaged, friends married, and children here or on their way. Around the Newsfeed, I saw an article shared regarding being the mother of boys. A little nugget, long lodged in my head, shook loose and it flashed by “I think I’d like to be a mother to a boy.” That led to me thinking about motherhood and whether or not that is something I would like to be: someone’s Mom. More

Granny at Hardy’s House

It’s amazing what a fairly decent night’s sleep and Birthday Pancakes can do for one’s motivation. Tack on some amazingly warm February days, and you have the makings of a multiple blog post Sunday!

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This used to be our ballfield

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33 Years

I am now embarking on my 33rd year on this great blue marble we call Earth. During that time, I have made friends, lost loved ones, traveled, worked on my education, entered adulthood, been engaged – became unengaged, failed, found success, made a small difference (more good than bad), randomly met Chris Hardwick – yes, he is amazing! and, overall, have had a pretty good run.

This last week celebrating the big 3-3, I have realized that while there are, as always, things I need to work on it is easier to acknowledge that I’m more like how I want to be than not.

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Memories….I Have Them

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how memory works. As I get older, I am intrigued by what I – and others – remember.  I want to hold on to those memories and keep them safe.
I am terrified of losing them.

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Classic Rock Thoughts

‘A love struck Romeo…”

This has been the first real winter some of the kiddos have ever had.  Snow falls in large, fluffy, flakes, covering the ground with the promise of adventure.

I am inside cleaning, fighting an internal battle between what makes sense (finishing projects, including laundry) and the absurd (running outside with a camera or driving out into the mess just to do it).  Through the cable box, the classic rock station plays.  Songs that I skip on my iPod because of the memories they encapsulate are allowed the freedom to be heard.  Why don’t I delete them from the playlists?  Well, it’s not like I dislike the song.  Its the memory that becomes the problem.

“Play your love songs all night long for me…”

It’s a haze of white outside.  The pull is stronger now.  I would love to call my friends and see who else wants to be ridiculous.  The voice in the back of my mind, the worried looks from loved ones, stops me.  You dislocate one kneecap….you almost dehydrate and have to be put in the hospital…. you are involved in a car accident….when you live too far for those loved ones to help, and their fear seeps into your thought process.  It’s not just their fear though.  It’s also the fear of the pain you felt, the worry of the possible result that you so narrowly missed, that keeps you in as you get older.

I just couldn’t bear providing any more pain to them. 

Still, you have to take a risk sometimes.  It gets to a point where the itch is too strong and a reaction is needed.  Newton had it down pat – you can only pull back for so long before it has to flip the other way.

The nice thing is, if you are lucky (and I am lucky) you have the support system that just wants you to be. 

“Gimme three steps…”

Here I am, being me….now, where are my boots?

When The Ideas Come

Or maybe it should be where the ideas come from….

Driving home is when the majority of my deeper thinking is done.  Those long hours provide a space in which my mind wanders.  It visits ideas for artworks, outlines for writings, plans for work, and the darker recesses where the thoughts one doesn’t want to admit having reside.

Questions are asked, few are answered, and the trip passes quickly. 

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Fingernails or How John Green Will Save Me

When I finally broke my habit of biting my nails, I was thrilled!  No more weird looks from my Dad.  No more tears down to the quick.  No more gross stuff entering my mouth – by my own doing! – out of a strange compulsion to control something.  My nervous condition was no more!  It had ceased to exist!  Yay!!!  And the minstrels celebrated!

Or had it……

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Learned On Hoth

In the middle of the Arctic blast, snuggled under the Beatles blanket and between discussions on Sherlock, I decided it would be most appropriate to watch The Empire Strikes Back.  I mean, what better way to acknowledge the bitter cold outside, and the continuing drop in temperature than by watching a movie that starts on a frozen planet?!  To Hoth I traveled and quickly fell into one of my favorite worlds to escape to – the world of Star Wars – a place “a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.”

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I Used To Be Nervy…

But ice changed that.

My time as an employee of Bath County Schools was pretty amazing.  I worked with some wonderful educators, great kiddos, and made fantastic friends.  It is also a timed marred with sickness, accidents, and the downfall of my personal life…but, you know, stuff happens.
Anyhoo….

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My Left Knee Cracks

It is pretty constant.  If I bend my knees to be even with my students, it will crack when I stand.  Should I sit with legs crossed, the movement of that left leg will be, with no doubt, serenaded with the grinding of bone on bone.  If I stand and turn, it will pop – pop loud enough for all to hear.

It can jar the teeth. It can be a relief. It can be annoying.  It can be embarrassing. 

It can be painful.

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