Just….Just Let Me Wallow For 5 Minutes

I hate feeling like such a drag.  It’s not like I’m not used to being a third wheel, or the single friend to a group of couples.  They are my friends!  I love being around them and sharing jokes and good times.  Doesn’t make you any less the odd man out.  Last night was a blast!  Rang in the NewYyear with great people, saw a fantastic – impromptu – firework show, talked to a friend about life and Doctor Who, had dinner with my uncle/best friend (yeah, he’s my best friend – what of it?!) – what more could I possibly ask for?!

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Learning to Be OK With Being Happy

I wrote that.  Yep, all me and my tendency to write in a free flowing attempt at letting it all out.  I really didn’t think much about it with regards to the post it was in.  In fact, it wasn’t until I went back – post publishing it of course – that I noticed it.

I will learn to be OK with being happy…because right now, I don’t know what to do with it.  That bothers me some because you would think at 32, almost 33, I would have the “being happy” thing down.  I mean, I laugh, I enjoy the majority of my days, I have love in my love life in the form of family and friends – I have a lot of happy.

But do I deserve it?  What if I mess it up?  What if…what if…what if

Two little words, one impossible question. 

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2014: Here It Comes

Another year approaches its close. It’s been a good….no….a great year. I could go on about the changes I’ve made, mentally and physically, the moments of realization, the relief of having a job I enjoy, and the meeting of family I had only heard of (seriously, it was pretty amazing to meet cousins that I never knew and discover we have a lot more in common than not), but I’m not.

Seriously, trying not to ramble on this one: short and sweet.

Instead, I’d like to list a few thoughts on what I hope the new year has in store.

The List In No Particular Order:

Here’s hoping that friends – old and new – stay in contact. That I don’t get so bogged down in my own mind that I let friendships take the brunt of my time cuts.

I hope to be more open to the possibility of a happy future. I tend to get pessimistic or stressed when I get overwhelmed. I am going to be better about taking things day by day and not – I repeat, NOT – get too ahead of myself.

I want to work on my own artwork more often. I will make time to create my own voice in my work and find an audience.

I want to spend time with my family – especially those in my extended family that I rarely see due to distance and the exciting lives they live.

Finally, I will spend this year doing the best I can, accepting that sometimes that my best won’t be enough, and learning to be OK with being happy. I wish I could guarantee that there won’t be freak outs or moments when it all seems too much, but I can promise that I will try to take it all in stride.

Somehow, it tends to work out. I hope 2014 works out for us all.

Happy New Year, folks! I’m going to get ready to take my cousins to lunch.

Happy New Year

Well, I had this fabulous post about my New Years resolutions and what-not, but I had problems with my word press on my ipad, and had to re-install it, and when I downloaded the app again…the post was gone! So, I will try to make this post just as awesome as the last!

So to begin, I’d like to tell you that I always make New Years resolutions…but I don’t tell a soul, and I never follow through on them! For shame I know! This year I’m going to live dangerously and let every one know! Yes, you get every gory detail!…well…maybe not everydetail.
I think the best place to start would be with the typical resolution of health! Rather than a diet or whatever normal people like to do, I am on a life journey to a healthier me! I’ve never been thin, I can’t claim that at all, nor do I want to be! But, I used to be a lot more active than I have been in the past couple of years, and I miss how great that feels. This year I am looking out for Dez, and that means being healthy and happy and making time to do it. So what am I doing to achieve this? Well working out of course, this year I will run my first 5k! you heard it folks…5…K…I like to use the fear of a zombie appocalypse as my motivation for this, and I have a couch to 5k app based on just that, and it is awesome! It’s a slow and gradual work to running 5k and it tracks speed and distance and your route. It’s called zombiesrun and I highly recommend it, we need more runner 5’s! I have also joined the gym, and I have a gym buddy who has the same goals and I think we are at the same work out level. In August we plan to run the color run in Cincinnati! So any one interested, do it!! It would be awesome to have lots of friends along to share all the excitement and awesome that will ensue!
Along with lots of cardio and gym time, I am doing yoga for strength and for meditation, and I am eating healthier!! This summer (now that we have plenty of yard) me and Adam will be growing lots of veggies, and he will be teaching me the art of canning and we are going to try our hand at mini green houses! I will prolly be calling mama and papa Lynch a lot this summer for advice!!! That will prolly be a series of crazy posts to enjoy!

My next major resolution is getting into grad school. I have been tossing the idea around for a few years now to commit to going back to school to get my masters, and just like anything, life happens, I got busy, and got lost on my path. Now I’m back! I took the GRE, and I’m working on my portfolio, and I think I have to have a whole slue of other things to get in (maybe slay a dragon, promise my first born). Are universities in other countries this needy?! but I digress…

Along with my two major resolutions (are we drinking every time I type that?) I have: read 100 books, knit like a fiend, make more time with friends and family, be more organized, wrestle an alligator, camp, fish, experience new things, live! (one of those Chuck Norris must have added…silly Chuck Norris). I may have more, but so far, that may be enough! unit next time!

From the Errant Easel Holiday Gathering

Blah blah blah…Merry Christmas…blah blah blah…Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Holiday Thoughts

The holidays are upon us.  Christmas, New Year’s – I love this time of year.  Giving gifts to family and friends, seeing if I got it right; there is nothing quite like it.  The promise of a new beginning, a chance to get things right “this time;” priceless hope.  Yes, this is the best time of the year for me.  It’s when those moments that weren’t that great over the course of the year fade into the fog of memory and replaced by glowing embers of times golden.  Granted, this euphoria doesn’t last – it isn’t something that is sustained constantly over the two weeks that encompass Christmas and New Year’s – but at least it’s there and that’s really all I need.

In the midst of enjoying my first day of break, I had several moments to reflect on what this year has meant to me.  When I think about it, the word “change” is the constant refrain.  At the beginning of the year I was engaged, now I’m not.  At the beginning of the year, I lived in another part of the state, now I live somewhere else.  At the beginning of the year I taught Art in Kentucky, now I don’t (I teach Art in West Virginia – didn’t want you to think I was out of a job).  Those are the big changes, but other, nicer things happened as well.  I made new friends at my new job (I like to believe I am STEM approved!) that I care for very much.  I live near my family and get to spend quality time with cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, brother, and Mom and Dad.  I’m happy, I have crushes on cute boys (sorry, men – I’m not 12), and I have hope – something I didn’t have for a while.

Now, I could go on again about how all the changes, particularly the hard ones, were rough and at times still are: but those times are fewer and fewer.  It doesn’t pay to harp about the wrongs I feel were done.  I wouldn’t even call them wrongs – I like to believe that all of the decisions, good/bad/whatever, have been lessons that needed to be learned.  What’s the phrase, you can’t enjoy the highs if you’ve never had the lows?  Something like that.  Anyways, all of those moments have brought me here to my couch, watching Burn Notice (B.A. by the way – B. A.) with my cat Ralphie and I’m fine with it.  The only regret I have this year is that I didn’t kiss a handsome man goodnight but that’s another story for another day.

So, now that my Pete Townshend style rambling is at an end, here are some resolutions I have for the coming year because, believe it or not, I had resolutions last year about making changes in my life and honestly, they worked out.

Here it goes:

Resolution 1 – Never give up the tshirt love, but wear dress clothes more often.   Dammit, I’m a girl and I like to look pretty! Seriously though, I have some awesome tshirts and I’ll never give them up – NEVER!!

Resolution 2 – Keep up the jogging/exercise routine.  Yes, I ended up enjoying jogging.  Guess I had to do it for myself after all.

Resolution 3Be better about blogging.  My 1/3 of Errant Easel should be attended to more often.  It will keep me on track with my Art too.

Resolution 4Become more outgoing.  States itself.

On that note, Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Happy New Year everyone.  I hope my little writings reach some of you, or give those of you I know a little more insight to my thought process.  It helps me to get it all out there and if it can help someone else – to at least know you aren’t the only one – then alrighty.

See you next year unless something spectacular, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt giving up on models and actress to court an Art teacher from Appalachia, happens.

It's not a Christmas pic, but he's wearing red so..close enough! Merry Christmas!

It’s not a Christmas pic, but he’s wearing red so..close enough! Merry Christmas!

 

 

Still alive…or maybe just a zombie

Here we go again! I started writing this post once, and my phone erased it…really not sure what happened there! Anyways, hopefully I will get it posted this time!
So, I started a new job, and the hours are a bit crazy, so I haven’t really made time for craftiness, art, or friends. Now that I am getting used to my job, and the holidays at over, there is a lot I want to accomplish this year! I’m a week behind, but I was sick, so I just took that as my body telling me to chill out! Mandatory vacation for body and mind, and honestly, I think it did me some good! So here’s some of my goals for this year!

Number one is the GRE! I am going back to school y’all! Probably in another year, first I have to get past this GRE hurtle, then apply for schools, and most schools only accept applications in the beginning of the year, so, I’m taking my time, and studying hard!

Next, I want to knit like a fiend! My first knitting project is going to be for me! I got some magnificent yarn for Christmas from Crypto, and I am so excited to get started with it! I’d also like to make more patterns, and to knit more vintage garments. I think me and my fellow knitters need to start a movement of instead of buying gloves, hats, sweaters, socks, scarves, etc. we should knit them! Wouldn’t that be awesome!

Books….i have a long list of books I need to read! Right now I am working on Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, and it is delightful! I’m going to try and read 100 books this year!! My soon to be mother-in-law prolly does that twice over, so, I think I can do it! If anyone wants to join my challenge, or any of my challenges, let me know! We can motivate each other!

Art journal! I am going to start keeping an art journal, and everyday I am going to try and contribute something to it, thoughts, ideas, sketches, anything. This is for a couple of reasons, one, for my portfolio (time to dust that puppy off and add some new material) and two, so I don’t lose sight of the fact I am an artist! My mom tells me all the time, “Dez, you are an artist through and through, and nothing will make you happier then your art!” and she’s so right! Of course she is, she’s mom….duh! I’ve been putting that piece of me in a box, and thats making me sad! I got a book showcasing many different amazing artist from Staci, and it’s been an inspiration! Thanks Staci! So look forward to seeing some of it, I will be blogging about it!

So my last goal will prolly be to perfect my recipes for soap, lotion and lip balm! For about the past 6 months I have been obsessed with making cosmetics! I made some for Christmas gifts, an I hope everyone is enjoying them! Cold press soap is Going to be my next challenge, and I am so excited about it! Me and the fiancé have done tons and tons of research and I have a recipe, now all we need are ingredients
and time! As soon as I get some items made and have a supply I will have those things for sell! So be ready!

So there it is! Get ready because this year is going to be Legen….

…wait for it…

DAIRY!

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