Fingernails or How John Green Will Save Me

When I finally broke my habit of biting my nails, I was thrilled!  No more weird looks from my Dad.  No more tears down to the quick.  No more gross stuff entering my mouth – by my own doing! – out of a strange compulsion to control something.  My nervous condition was no more!  It had ceased to exist!  Yay!!!  And the minstrels celebrated!

Or had it……