Learning to Be OK With Being Happy

I wrote that.  Yep, all me and my tendency to write in a free flowing attempt at letting it all out.  I really didn’t think much about it with regards to the post it was in.  In fact, it wasn’t until I went back – post publishing it of course – that I noticed it.

I will learn to be OK with being happy…because right now, I don’t know what to do with it.  That bothers me some because you would think at 32, almost 33, I would have the “being happy” thing down.  I mean, I laugh, I enjoy the majority of my days, I have love in my love life in the form of family and friends – I have a lot of happy.

But do I deserve it?  What if I mess it up?  What if…what if…what if

Two little words, one impossible question. 


Still alive…or maybe just a zombie

Here we go again! I started writing this post once, and my phone erased it…really not sure what happened there! Anyways, hopefully I will get it posted this time!
So, I started a new job, and the hours are a bit crazy, so I haven’t really made time for craftiness, art, or friends. Now that I am getting used to my job, and the holidays at over, there is a lot I want to accomplish this year! I’m a week behind, but I was sick, so I just took that as my body telling me to chill out! Mandatory vacation for body and mind, and honestly, I think it did me some good! So here’s some of my goals for this year!

Number one is the GRE! I am going back to school y’all! Probably in another year, first I have to get past this GRE hurtle, then apply for schools, and most schools only accept applications in the beginning of the year, so, I’m taking my time, and studying hard!

Next, I want to knit like a fiend! My first knitting project is going to be for me! I got some magnificent yarn for Christmas from Crypto, and I am so excited to get started with it! I’d also like to make more patterns, and to knit more vintage garments. I think me and my fellow knitters need to start a movement of instead of buying gloves, hats, sweaters, socks, scarves, etc. we should knit them! Wouldn’t that be awesome!

Books….i have a long list of books I need to read! Right now I am working on Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, and it is delightful! I’m going to try and read 100 books this year!! My soon to be mother-in-law prolly does that twice over, so, I think I can do it! If anyone wants to join my challenge, or any of my challenges, let me know! We can motivate each other!

Art journal! I am going to start keeping an art journal, and everyday I am going to try and contribute something to it, thoughts, ideas, sketches, anything. This is for a couple of reasons, one, for my portfolio (time to dust that puppy off and add some new material) and two, so I don’t lose sight of the fact I am an artist! My mom tells me all the time, “Dez, you are an artist through and through, and nothing will make you happier then your art!” and she’s so right! Of course she is, she’s mom….duh! I’ve been putting that piece of me in a box, and thats making me sad! I got a book showcasing many different amazing artist from Staci, and it’s been an inspiration! Thanks Staci! So look forward to seeing some of it, I will be blogging about it!

So my last goal will prolly be to perfect my recipes for soap, lotion and lip balm! For about the past 6 months I have been obsessed with making cosmetics! I made some for Christmas gifts, an I hope everyone is enjoying them! Cold press soap is Going to be my next challenge, and I am so excited about it! Me and the fiancé have done tons and tons of research and I have a recipe, now all we need are ingredients
and time! As soon as I get some items made and have a supply I will have those things for sell! So be ready!

So there it is! Get ready because this year is going to be Legen….

…wait for it…